Change of Heart

Bleeding heart by Margrit

O God, search me and know my heart;

test me and know my thoughts.

See if there is any wicked way in me,

and lead me in the way everlasting.                Psalm 139

Mahalia Jackson… “Search me Lord”

While I’m down here livin’ Lord search my heart.
While I’m down here livin’ Lord search my heart.

While I’m down here livin’ Lord search my heart.

You know Lord, whether I’m right. You know Lord, whether I’m wrong. You know, Lord, whether I’m right or wrong.

When I’m down here prayin,’ Lord search my heart.

When I’m down here prayin,’ Lord search my heart.
When I’m down here prayin,’ Lord search my heart.

You know Lord, whether I’m right. You know Lord, whether I’m wrong. You know, Lord, whether I’m right or wrong.

While I’m testifying…

While I’m sayin’ I’m holy…

While I’m singin’ your praises…

You know Lord, whether I’m right. You know Lord, whether I’m wrong. You know, Lord, whether I’m right or wrong.

Throughout Mark’s gospel, there are fourteen mentions of the heart.

Questioning hearts, hardness of hearts…

Hearts far from God …
Take heart! (collectively and personally)

Don’t doubt in your heart, but believe…

Love God with all your heart.

Take heart, it is I; do not be afraid. Then he got into the boat with them and the wind ceased. And they were utterly astounded, for they did not understand about the loaves, but their hearts were hardened. (Mark 6: 50-52)

Jesus' words to the Pharisees give us pause: “These people honor me with their lips but their hearts are far from me… ignoring the commands of God to hold to human traditions.” (Mark 7) Jesus invites congruency… hearts matching words matching deeds.

It’s this kind of transformation of the heart that Jesus is longing for us to understand, to embrace, to be open to… a change of heart that will in fact change every part of our lives.

In Mark’s gospel, the disciples never really get it… understanding only comes later, much later…

After witnessing Jesus’ ministry with people far beyond the circles that they had traveled before. After being in the boat in stormy seas together. After eating an abundance of food not one, not two, but many times… After Jesus’ teaching, after praying together, after sharing meals together, after watching their group split apart in betrayal and denial and fear… after death on a cross.

It was only after they heard that Jesus had risen from the dead… but when they still couldn’t quite believe it… much after all that they noticed, their hearts were changed.

They were different.

Suddenly, they could face the whole story with less fear and more joy, hope, and faith.

Not because they had changed their own hearts but because somehow, by a miracle, God had done it.

And that is probably how it will work for us, too.

It may not be today that we will see an end to our questions, our hardness of heart, our hearts wandering all over the place… far from God.

But take heart!

Because God isn’t finished with us…

God says, “A new heart I will give you, and a new spirit I will put within you; ... I will put my spirit within you…. And you shall be my people, and I will be your God.” Ezekiel 36:26…

With my whole heart I seek you.       Psalm 119:10a

Wholeheartedness… Brené Brown, Daring Greatly

In a list of 10 guideposts for wholehearted living, she includes practices to cultivate and behaviors to let go of… as every change of heart requires… letting go, a little death of an old way of being we’re clinging to… here’s her list.

1.     Cultivating Authenticity: Letting Go of What People Think

2.     Cultivating Self-Compassion: Letting Go of Perfectionism

3.     Cultivating a Resilient Spirit: Letting Go of Numbing and Powerlessness

4.     Cultivating Gratitude and Joy: Letting Go of Scarcity and Fear of the Dark

5.     Cultivating Intuition and Trusting Faith: Letting Go of the Need for Certainty

6.     Cultivating Creativity: Letting Go of Comparison

7.     Cultivating Play and Rest: Letting Go of Exhaustion as a Status Symbol and Productivity as Self-Worth

8.     Cultivating Calm and Still: Letting Go of Anxiety as a Lifestyle

9.     Cultivating Meaningful Work: Letting Go of Self-Doubt and “Supposed To”

10.  Cultivating Laughter, Song, and Dance: Letting Go of Being Cool and “Always in Control”

TED talks;      The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are; Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, and Parent

Her list doesn’t sound too different from the Ten Commandments, or the list of sins in Mark 7… which might make us doubt our ability to change, if we are still working on these same things thousands of years later, over and over through our lives… but the good news is that we are not in this alone. God is still in the boat with us. God is still providing. God is still inviting, gifting, transforming us.

Hold on, change is comin’… the change we’ve been waiting for, longing for… the change of heart that God is bringing about… or in the words of a traditional Spiritual,
Hold on, just a little while longer (x3), everything will be alright.

Let us pray: O God of our longing, strengthen us and change our hearts. Root and ground us in your love. Help us to experience the breadth and length and height and depth of your mercy shown to us on the way and to the end. Fill our hearts with your grace, that we lead lives that radiate your love to all. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.