Psalm 46, Romans 8 & John 14: 1-7, 25-27
“Be still and know that I am God.” A beloved grandchild wrote this scripture on a rock and placed it in Ray’s urn. We know that in some ways, Ray was the opposite of still – we knew him as an Energizer Bunny! He just kept going – living life with vigor and energy for more than 100 years. So it is not surprising that this is a day that we did not anticipate. Although Ray had entered hospice this fall, his journey from relatively good health to death felt fast…
On December 19, when I was prepared to offer a Commendation (prayers of peace for those who are dying) because he had stopped eating, he actually received Communion the assistance of a hospice nurse… we spoke and prayed together and I think that he thought the technology that brought us together was as wondrous as we did. We were looking forward to many more visits in that new way. But on Christmas Eve, we could see that the end of this life was coming to a close as we sang “O Come All Ye Faithful” and “Silent Night” in our Zoom worship, and on Christmas morning, he peacefully died.
Today, we are grateful and celebrate Ray’s life, and we are grateful that his suffering is over; but also, it is difficult to say goodbye.
In John, Jesus speaks to disciples who, put simply, can’t imagine their life without him.
Jesus is talking about his upcoming death and they don’t want to hear it. They don’t want to face losing him, and Jesus reassures them… Don’t be afraid. I am going to die, but death does not have the final word. I’m going ahead of you so you can be reassured that when you come this way, entering the mystery of life after death, you’ll know I’m there, with a place for you.
And what’s more, as Jesus faces his own death, he promises a gift for those who cannot imagine life without him—the presence of the Holy Spirit—who blows where it will, who teaches, who reminds them of what they know, and fills them with peace. Not the temporary, unsatisfying peace that doesn’t last, but deep peace and love that takes our pain, fear and despair away.
Doesn’t that sound like what happened to Ray?
When he lost Fran, the love of his life, he experienced deep grief, and then came new parts of life that he never could have imagined.
Who would have thought that he would experience 15 years of car racing with Dick and win a trophy at age 87?! He had friends because of racing that were much, much younger than him, and Ray told me many times how this experience of doing this with his son meant so much to him.
When he left his long-time home at age 99, we gathered around him for what I call a “reverse house blessing,” sharing the memories of love that you hold in this space and blessing the space to receive another family. Somehow, it makes the grief of saying goodbye to a cherished home more bearable… and I remember, we were a little worried about how that would be for Ray, to sit in his cherished home, empty and ready for sale… but he sat in his chair, like a king, sharing stories, sharing some of his favorite memories in that home, sharing words about his love for all of you who shared special times that home with him over the years.
And, he was grateful to be a New Perspectives when he arrived there. Well, he wasn’t grateful for everything, let’s be honest. There was too much chicken, not enough steak.
But… he treasured the art from Lynn that he looked at in his room each day. He enjoyed the companionship of new friends that he got to share meals and stories with each day… at least until Covid made life for all of us and especially those in spaces like his, more isolated than ever. These have been hard months, harder than ever… and so it is with some thankfulness and joy that we know that Ray is released from the pain and suffering of this life, and rests in God’s loving embrace this Christmas season.
We will remember the ways that Ray wished for love and forgiveness… Ray told me, again and again, how much he loved and cared for each one of you. I think he was aware that he had sometimes been hard on his children… when I brought him Communion, he always added words of his own, asking God to forgive him for all his sins.
Now, he would ask that of you – that you forgive him for any ways that he hurt you throughout his long, long life – and that any past hurts or hard times be transformed by the love he has for you now. Ray would say to each of you, “I love you” and “thanks for the memories.”
We grieve the loss of this incredible man, but we also have received so much from him that can never be taken away. That is the kind of love that lasts and can live on in and through you, generation to generation.
Ray loved to feast, loved to race, loved to dance, love to host a party… and that is how he would want us to move forward… with a spirit of celebrating all that has been good, all that has been gift, that our tears might turn into tears of joy, that our mourning might become singing. Ray is hoping that we would tell stories, laugh together and embody love.
Jesus promises, “‘I have said these things to you while I am still with you. 26But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you everything, and remind you of all that I have said to you. 27Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid.”
In Romans, Paul reminds us that nothing in heaven or on earth can separate us from the deep and wide love of God. In this time, in these days of grief mixed with Christmas days of Emmanuel, God with us, once again, may the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ bring love and peace, and may the Holy Spirit bring you comfort and joy.
