When you have to say goodbye, you are not alone

Psalm 40

The Goodbye Book by Todd Parr – It’s hard to say goodbye to someone.

You might not know what to feel. You might feel sad. You might be very mad.

You might not feel like talking to anyone…

“Of all my books, this was the hardest to write—because it’s never easy to say goodbye. Love, Todd.”

Some more books… Saying Goodbye when you don’t want to…

Saying goodbye when your family is moving.

Are you Sad, Little Bear? A book about learning to say goodbye...

All of these books probably have different ideas about how to make it through goodbyes… but here is an idea that comes from the word “goodbye.”

It’s a contraction of “God be with ye” (late 14c.)

God is with the one going and the one staying. Neither one is left alone.

Most of us hate goodbyes.

For some of us, it’s deep-rooted. Because we had significant losses very early in life, every goodbye is significant and painful. Whether it’s saying goodbye to our country of birth or saying goodbye as someone moves; whether it’s saying goodbye when take a child to college or saying goodbye to a friend after a great visit. These milestones—the goodbye milestones—are important and not easy.

We’re afraid that as we say goodbye to someone, it might be forever…

OR it’s just that we’re so happy when we’re with other people, we wish we could be together all the time… or some combination of emotions that it’s hard to wade through…

Gratitude mixed with sadness, excitement about the new and fear about what may never be the same again…

Think about a time you had to say goodbye—to friend or family, to a beloved pet, to a home…

Share your story briefly with someone around you. And then, listen to their story of saying goodbye.

Some of your goodbyes were temporary. Some seem more permanent… some of your stories may have brought tears to your eyes. Others… laughter.

All those stories bring us together because these are very common experiences. We have said goodbye whatever our age, culture, language…

When we gather with the Coltvet family, there are 17 cousins and 4 boys that are 9—11 years old. My son and his cousin are two peas in a pod, and after 6 days of a family vacation together in British Columbia— eating, sleeping, and playing together 24-hours-a-day—it was hard to say goodbye. After all the hugs and words and waves… we got a text that had about 75 emoji in it. “I MISS YOU already!!!!!!” It’s hard to say goodbye, even when you’ll see each other again.

So, the lyrics that the writer of Psalm 40 sings, reach out to us across time and place to reassure us that when we have to say goodbye, we are not alone.

When we’re afraid that this goodbye is it, this is the end of the good times we’ve shared, when we are buried in sadness, we’re called back to remembering how God saves us… and we’re called forward into God’s deep kindness, faithfulness, and caring. God always helps.

It’s not just that millions of people have said goodbye—they’ve done it and are doing and will do it, but it’s not just that we have companions on the journey, but that God is our lifelong companion through everything. “God has done many wonderful things, and has planned marvelous things for us.”

I wonder if you can think of another story—something wonderful that God has done or is doing for you?

Take a few minutes now to tell those stories to each other…

A story of how God did something good for you.

In our lonely pits of mud and mire, God reaches out a hand and pulls us to a place where we stand on a rock with our feet firm. From there, we can sing a new song. “No one is like you, God! I would never be able to tell all you have done.” Sacrifices and offerings aren’t the main thing God wants, but God changes us into people who are willing to listen and follow through on what God asks. God cultivates us into people who can say, “I enjoy pleasing you, God.”

So if we came this morning tired from carrying heavy burdens, God’s Holy Spirit came this morning ready to take those burdens on and give us something different to carry, something lighter that will guide us in the way that we should go. As we walk in Jesus’ way, we find that the nature of God is gentle and humble and doesn’t require us to carry things that are too much for us, instead, in God’s way, we find rest… new reasons for hope… and something in us grows lighter, so light we might even be able to sing, so light that we might be able to extend that light, love, and grace to others.

Here, we have a chance to rest in God, remember God’s goodness, and practice trusting in God until we can really believe it, even through goodbyes.

Here, we get a taste of God’s kindness—how God has done, is doing, and will keep doing very good things.

Here, we come at the start of the week and receive something life-giving to sustain us on the way through all our hellos and goodbyes.

And that way, our goodbyes can be an opportunity to say “God be with ye”—until we know for sure that we are not alone.