In Loving Memory of Carolyn R. Knutson

Romans 8: 28-39 & Luke 10: 38-42

There are so many things to say about Carolyn. For those of us who work on a daily basis at Christ, she is probably the person we saw most often. So many of us can point to ways that she was generous with her time and showed care for others, sometimes through words but most often through deeds. Carolyn often came in to help in the office. Each week, she cleaned the sanctuary, tidying the pews and the coloring table. She was full of ideas for constant improvement. On Sundays, she would come in early to set up communion regularly before practicing with the Soli Deo Gloria choir. After worship, if there was a need, she would clean up after communion.

Carolyn was involved in the Hospitality Team, the CLC Women, the Worship Music and Arts Team… she visited the homebound and called them, delivered gifts to them and delivered messages back to me. She nearly always came to Advent and Lenten Wednesdays and when the Second Saturday meals came into being, she attended those community-building meals, sharing her special Welsh cakes at least twice and comparing recipes for the very best rØmmegrØt.

She has been so present in our daily life at Christ and although she was gradually backing away from a few tasks—giving up the watering of plants, for example—she was still so vitally involved. I vividly remember the last few conversations I had with Carolyn… when she told me that she wouldn’t sing with the choir next year and I tried to encourage her that even if she didn’t want to stand, we could bring a stool or a chair so she could still participate (an idea that perhaps horrified her). Another of those last conversations we shared was about the Reque kitchen, passing on her visions for what might be needed (or not) in that newly renovated space. I remember how one of her last critiques for me was about the amount of bread offered in Communion… and how I gave her too much and I promised to cut back, if I could, but knowing myself, I said, “If I forget, Carolyn, please just take the mistake as a reminder of the abundance of God.”

I remember on Mother’s Day, the day of the Blessing of the Kitchenette, and how she was so busy tidying up after worship that we had to call her name several times to draw her in… but we just could not start without Carolyn. And I remember the last words we exchanged that Sunday… I asked her after most people had left, “Do you have any plans for today, Carolyn?” And she said, “Yes, Thessaly and Alex are taking me out to W.A. Frost. Isn’t that nice?”
“Yes, it really is…” And I was filled with gratitude with her for this good gift—you, her grandchildren, who made this plan together with her that she got to anticipate and delight in. She deeply loved you—all her children and grandchildren—as I think you know well.

You know because she sewed clothes for you growing up and she made you “leftovers from scratch.” You know because “what happens at grandmas stays at grandmas.” She loved and protected you and at the same time she empowered you. She let you live your life. She sent you on a massive bike ride to visit relatives in Iowa! She forced you to play instruments! She did not hide her quirks—here, I’m talking about the Kleenex box filled with Kleenex to use a second time and the bag of strings “too short to save,” the wine made from Welch’s grape juice and her tiny portion sizes for herself—but her diligent frugality was paired with enormous generosity, and that is such an amazing combination of qualities. And as she aged, she was constantly serving, volunteering, contacting, visiting, driving, caring for others, including each of you gathered today.

This Sunday, we will hear this story from Luke—the story of sisters Martha and Mary. Here it’s paraphrased in Eugene Peterson’s The Message.This is one of the many things I treasured about Carolyn—how she would bring a different translation to the Women’s Bible study every month, always exploring how God’s word might come to us differently and new. Here’s the story.

As they continued their travel, Jesus entered a village. A woman by the name of Martha welcomed him and made him feel quite at home. She had a sister, Mary, who sat before their Guest, hanging on every word he said. But Martha was pulled away by all she had to do in the kitchen. Later, she stepped in, interrupting them. “Jesus, don’t you care that my sister has abandoned the kitchen to me? Tell her to lend me a hand.”
Jesus said, “Martha, dear Martha, you’re fussing far too much and getting yourself worked up over nothing. One thing only is essential, and Mary has chosen it—it’s the main course, and won’t be taken from her.”

I’m struck by how much this story looks like Carolyn—always so intent on welcoming others and helping them feel quite at home. Also, she was always keeping busy and probably often felt pulled away by all she felt compelled to do. She worried about who would join her and who would fill in the gaps… and now we feel the gap of her absence, too, intently. We didn’t get to say goodbye and thank you, and yet today we do that holy work.

We get to proclaim the faith that she lived out as faithfully as she could—that because of God’s deep love, all things work together for good.

That God is for us… after all if God gave us Jesus, can’t we trust God to provide everything else we need?

And that nothing in death or life, not our losses, not our suffering, nothing can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus. God’s love in Jesus moves toward us in deepest grief and surrounds and fills each one of us with what we need.

There is a legend that is often associated with Martin Luther that when he was asked, “What would you do if the end of the world was coming tomorrow?” He responded, “I would plant a tree.”

Carolyn’s death came in the very midst of working on a newsletter mailing for her alma mater, volunteering to be class agent. She was so committed to honoring the past and serving into the future she was volunteering once again as this life came to an end.

Yes, Carolyn was like Martha, but I also think about the part of Carolyn that was so very Mary, welcoming and then listening deeply… hanging on every word from you—who were to her like Christ, the Guest… as her loved ones witnessed, “She was more Christian than many, without having to talk about it… we owe her a lot.”

And so we say thanks to God for Carolyn: beloved sister, mother, grandmother, musician and friend, visitor, volunteer, believer, inspiration, beloved daughter of God and now part of the communion of saints. We give thanks to God for giving us her to know and to love. And we give thanks that through the power of the resurrection, she is not only in our minds & hearts but sits with Jesus, enjoying together the main course… that will never be taken away.